my comfort zone..

Every time I tried to cocoon myself in my comfort zone, it was taken away from me. I fought for it, struggled a lot, tried to find the things I had lost, found none, obviously...and thus came realisations which are bittersweet..

It started very early in my life but I take notice only now! My first School was St. Josephs Convent! I had the best times of my life here. School bus rides, tiffin breaks, inter house competitions, Annual Day, School Fete, Moral Science Classes and what not.. my life revolved around all of it. and exactly when I was growing up and bonding with friends and loved ones, I was moved! It took me at least a month to get over with the shock of switching schools.

The new school sucked! People spoke language that I didn't comprehend. No it was not a language problem really! Just what they said. I was isolated! Tried to fit in.. failed! Was tough. But the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to me, happened here. Found Tobu... Things changed! Things that looked mundane before was full of life, cycle rides(with tobu), gardening, chitter chatter, I was happy again! Very Happy!

Delhi happened! Was fun! Had so much to see, learn, do, talk about.. I was busy and excited about everything new around me. School was fun! college was super fun! Google was serious fun! and in between everything came the year 2008.

Summer of 2008- vikkoo left! I missed him so much! But was again excited as my sister's wedding was approaching! November 2008- Didi got married! She moved to a new life, new place... Decemeber 2008- Papa got transferred! By this time I was sad! I could see how my life was changing, drastically. I was missing people, my comfort, I had to move out, live by myself, manage my life and take care of myself! In the midst of everything, January 2009 Tobu decides to leave. He left me frail and weak. I was not ready to move on. I couldn't believe it. February 2009- Mom Dad move out of Delhi.

I was by myself, working, cooking, studying, managing... Was lost. Really Lost! Home sick, Hungry, Tired(of everything that was going wrong) .. Then I made one phone call and Life changed.

Time flew by... waiting for calls, talking indefinitely, online monopoly, skype-ing all day long, nothing else on my mind, 1 week in Delhi, 3 days in Mumbai- I can relive these days over and over again. Looks like my comfort zone was back! Happy, smiling silly, looking forward to the mid night call.. no sleep, only talk... it was beautiful and perfect, just like I had imagined. Things had to change cause I was getting used to it! He moved too.. Can you believe it! For 2 months.. but those were tough days! I used to miss everything.. things became mundane again! sigh...I was waiting... patiently...

My beloved Nani passes away! I was losing it.. or lost it! I decided to vent out my frustration on my studies. Whenever I had nothing else to do, which was a lot of time, in retrospect, I would study! and then came September 2009.. yay! you are back and i already feel so much better... Things changed again but this time not because you were here.. but because the realization had set in..

Things always change and they will continue to change! this will stay...